Don't mess with Mister M.

''Oh my gawd! Is this for me?''

''Owner put it there. Must be for me.''

''Let me get my paw on this yummy bagel...''

''Why did you take it away, Owner? What kind of sick game are you playing?''

''You like this vase?''

''How about I take it away from you... by throwing it on the floor...''

The writer

''Guess what Owner! I'm going to publish a book that will make me rich and famous!''

Me: ''Really? I didn't know you could write.''

''Well, if you can, I guess it's not that difficult.''

Me: ...

''That's ok if you don't care about my project. I'll keep it all to myself.''

Me: ''Ok... Tell me what your book is about.''

''It's about things that matter to me...''

''It's going to be profound, but also...''

''Hilarious!''

''Appetizing.''

''It's going to be a real page-turner...''

Me: ''That sounds really promising!''

''Yes. Now I just have to write it.''