''It's freezing outside. You said I could stay inside.''
Me: ''Yes, but you know you're not supposed to climb on this couch.''
''I'm just sitting like a statue. What's wrong with that?''
Me: ''This is leather. You have claws.''
''So? You have long nails. What's your point?''
Me: ''Get down, please.''
''Wait. I just wanted to have a closer look...''
Me: ''At what?''
''This. This beautiful shiny thing.''
Me: ''The lamp? You wanted to look at the lamp?''
''Yes. I think it's fabulous.''
''Come on, Lamp. Shine for me.''
''I want to see the light.''
Me: ''What are you doing? It's not like the lamp is going to obey you.''
''It won't?! Why??''
Me: ''It's an object. You have to switch it on.''
''Then switch it on, Owner. You're not an object. You can obey me. I mean, you must obey me.''